Yo Mama Lord of the Rings Jokes

Yo mama so dumb she argued until dawn and turned to stone.

Yo mama so dumb she claimed there were Elves at Helm’s Deep.

Yo mama so dumb she gave Huan a treat when he spoke.

Yo mama so dumb she thought Elrond wrote “Dianetics”.

Yo mama so dumb she thought Legolas was a paraplegic.

Yo mama so dumb she thought Rosie Cotton was a brand of tampons.

Yo mama so dumb she thought Smaug was in L.A.

Yo mama so dumb she tried to make a little fort out of Legolas.

Yo mama so dumb when she heard Gandalf say “Peregrin Took,” she asked “Where they take him?”.

Yo mama so fat Carcharoth the Red Maw choked.

Yo mama so fat even the palantír couldn’t see all of her at once.

Yo mama so fat i had to let her pass.

Yo mama so fat if she walks by the TV you miss all three Lord of the Rings movies.

Yo mama so fat she left a ring around the bathtub that in the darkness binds them.

Yo mama so fat she lives at Bag Beginning-to-End.

Yo mama so fat she sank Númenor.

Yo mama so fat Shelob saved half of her for later.

Yo mama so fat the men of Harad thought she was an Oliphaunt. They threw a saddle on her and rode the bitch into battle.

Yo mama so fat the One Ring can’t grow big enough to fit on her finger.

Yo mama so fat there were no eagles to carry Frodo to Mordor because they were all in orbit around her.

Yo mama so fat they had to break up the world into Left-, Right- and Middle-earth to give her a place to sit.

Yo mama so fat when gandalf said you shall not pass she didn't move or die.

Yo mama so fat when she fell into the Cracks of Doom, she blocked them up.

Yo mama so fat when she walked past the TV I missed out on my LOTR marathon.

Yo mama so hairy she also explains where dwarves come from.

Yo mama so mean, she made Tom Bombadil cry.

Yo mama so slow, Treebeard got bored.

Yo Mama so stupid she gave Sauron the One-Ring

Yo mama so stupid she thought Gothmog was a quarterly for emo kids.

Yo mama so stupid when Sauron said “Mordor,” she called a carpenter.